The Life and Times of Poopwa Foley

Archive for May 2012

You can smell the heather and freshly cut grass in the air.  The sun is shining down; the wind is blowing the perfect breeze to ruffle your hair just the littlest bit.  There are ducks and geese in the lake, some with downy babies comically following behind them. 
There are families fishing, people reading on the shores of the lake or on one of the many picnic tables or gazebos.  Many, many people are walking, biking, or rollerblading on the bike path, some with leashed dogs.
Where is this magical place, you ask?
It’s Baumann Park. 
Baumann Park is located at 300 South Walnut in the quaint, charming village of Cherry Valley.  It’s where lots of people go to enjoy the beautiful setting it presents…pretty much any time except winter, although I’m sure you could take some gorgeous pictures and go for a brisk walk in January, too.



Cabin in the Woods.  haha
It’s only about 10 short minutes from Rockford, and actually accessible from a bike path that runs parallel to Harrison Street.
Although you can’t put a boat in the water there, you can fish; the lake is stocked with bluegill, bass, and northern pike.  Be sure to have a fishing license, as there are policemen who actually come by and check. *  There are limits posted here and there so you know what exactly you can take home and fry up.



The Kishwaukee River.  Where I will never be.



On the other side of the bike path is the Kishwaukee River, where throngs of people are found on warm weekends during the summer putting anything that floats in the water and having one heck of a good time.  (author’s note:  I’m not exaggerating about how many people do this…sometimes it’s hard to find a parking spot…and they sure do make it look fun!)
It’s also an extremely popular spot for wedding parties and prom goers alike, due to the picturesque setting. 
Close to the bike path is also a baseball diamond.  For those with small children, there’s also a little playground; sometimes people grill their lunch of hot dogs or hamburgers nearby under the pavilion (which is for rent).  It makes those walking pretty hungry sometimes!
The total picture is really something else.  It is the complete embodiment of summer.  People tubing, the smell of hot dogs on the grill, the sun reflecting on the lake, squawking or singing birds, walking alone, as a couple, or with their dogs, the unbelievably fresh smell in the air…it is so nice.  Visiting this park definitely charges up your batteries as it’s one of the most serene parks this author has ever visited.
Get your pedometer or rollerblades; put on your walking shoes and sun block.  Go shake loose the stress of the day.  Grab some water to bring with you and enjoy the amenities of Baumann Park.  You will be glad you did.
*the police checked on fishing licenses for my daughters once.  They really do check.




It’s probably much, much greener now…2 months later.
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Get it?  Get it?  Red box???



Ok, first, it would behoove you to go online at home and reserve the movies you want first, before ever going to the Redbox kiosk.  One and done.  The only thing you have to do when you actually get to the Redbox dispenser is swipe and wait.  Swipe and wait, people, swipe and wait.  Much easier.
If you are still in the dark ages and don’t own a computer, or you just happen to be out and about and decide to pick up a movie on the way home, let’s be a little more considerate.  See below.
a)      Are your hands clean?  The Redboxes are a public use item, which means who knows what cultures might be growing on the kiosk screen.  I don’t want to use the screen after you’ve been eating Cheetos, or some big greasy hamburger, or mining for green gold, or trying to pick the apple you had for lunch out of your teeth. 
b)      The places of business putting out these kiosks also should make antibacterial wipes available just like they do next to the grocery carts.  Why?  See above.
c)      Place your phone calls before you lean on the box, head under the screen, and start cruising for a movie.  Do not call home three different times trying to get a popular consensus on what you should get, you flipping moron.  More importantly, do not call someone and leave a message, then linger in front of the screen waiting for a callback.  You’re a big boy and it’s only a dollar.  Live dangerously.
d)     Please, for the love of all that’s holy, read the trailer information for movies some other time, like at home while you’re choosing your movies beforehand.  I was once behind a man who read the synopsis of at least 16 different movies to his phone friend.  I was just trying to return one movie before the 9 o’clock deadline.  He ended up not renting anything.  And I had to pay extra because of his obnoxiousness.  My printout receipt showed 9:01 pm.      
e)      Speaking of deadlines, try to avoid the 8:55 pm rush.  It’s not pretty.  Whoever lost the fight has to return the movie, and obviously the clothing choices reflect that.  People, please remember that you will be seen returning the movie, oh Unshowered One.  Wearing orange piggy flannel pajama bottoms and a red Wisconsin sweatshirt while rocking striped spa socks…I am judging you, and I am not alone.  That schnit doesn’t fly.  You’re making Walmartians look like fashion icons. 
f)       If for some unusual reason I have to stand at the kiosk and choose instead of having reserved my movies at home like I normally would, don’t you dare stand too closely behind me.  It does not make me go faster.  It skeeves me out and gives me butterfingers, causing my fingers to slip because it makes me nervous…
g)      …and threatened.  If I feel threatened, it could also force me to break out my professional ninja moves and karate chop your solar plexus.  It’s very possible that I could miss and deliver a massive blow to your junk, making you miss YOUR 9:00 pm deadline.  Oops.  Just stay the hell back.  You’ll get your turn.
Easy enough, right?  You would think.  So many people, however, observe no Redbox etiquette whatsoever.   I’m merely here to gently guide them.
Enjoy your movie.

*thanks, Jenny-Wren, for your input…


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  • Mary Fran Says: Thank you for contributing to Sweeps Week! We make a great team. Maybe we'll collaborate in our next lives? SISTERS! lol :)
  • Mary Fran Says: What's better than a Baby Shower aka Early Baby Birthday Party? Baby's FIRST Birthday Party! (Although it's hard to call them "baby" by one! They grow
  • Ann Jones: I'll have to check it out, thanks for the heads up!

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