The Life and Times of Poopwa Foley

Archive for the ‘Christmas’ Category

It was a Christmas present, my new Nook.  I found out later that the very child I had made fun of for going out shopping on Black Friday had, in fact, waited in line for a very long, long time at a local store to buy a Nook for her mommy, at a very, very good price. 
by adam r
not exactly a Nook, but you get the idea.
All that and a gift card to fill it!  And didn’t I feel like a horse’s ass for teasing?
I immediately mess it up play with it, in the process downloading what I found out later was a very norty book veiled as a romance novel.  It amounted to poorly written erotica.  I read skimmed it and wished for a red pen the entire time.  Don’t these people even edit?  Or attend church?
I figured out how to find the good books, the really good books, and managed to blow through my gift card in under seven minutes.  I also had several books pop up in my library that I didn’t order.  In chatting with a friend later, I discovered that she too had a couple show up in her Nook, uninvited, right around the time she had gone into (rhymes with Smarms & Coble) where there is wifi, as opposed to her home, which is wifi-lacking.
She went back in to Smarms & Coble to find out why these books were downloaded into her library and wouldn’t you know it, those books were gone.  Missing.  She was unable to find them anywhere in her Nook and hadn’t pushed any buttons to remove them.  Now, my friend is not a stupid person and has not begun seeing things that aren’t there.  Yet.
However, the skeevy bookstore employee obviously decided to have a little fun with her.
  
Friend:  Hi, I was just wondering why books I didn’t buy are being downloaded to my Nook? (Hands over Nook)
Bookstore:  (scrolls through her Nook library.)  You must have downloaded them.  Or someone lent them to you.  But they’re not in here anymore.
Friend:  (grabs Nook back, pages through) What the…They were just there!!! 
Bookstore:  (shrugs) Well, they’re not there now.  Next customer in line?
Friend:  Now, wait just a damn minute.  I can barely download books I want, much less lend stuff I didn’t buy!
Bookstore:  If they were ever even there (smirking) I’m thinking maybe that’s exactly what you did; you lent them to someone.  You can do that, you know, lend your Nook library to someone.  It’s in the directions.  That’s probably what you did.
Friend:  (voice is rising a little bit) I didn’t lend them to anyone!  I just got this thing, and I can’t work it; what makes you think that I am so technologically gifted that suddenly I learned how to share my library with someone?
Bookstore:  I’m just saying you probably touched your Nook to someone else’s.  Did you touch Nooks?  
Friend:  (gasps) I’ve never, even seen another person’s Nook, much less touch them together or let someone touch mine!  I’m not that kind of person!
Bookstore:  You had to have touched Nooks with someone.  It’s ok; we all want to see what other people’s Nooks look like.  It’s human nature.  Some people cover their Nooks with special decorations and some people just let them be au natural.  (Giggles) 
Friend:  (quietly, defeated) Mine has a light on it so I can use it in bed.
Bookstore:  Oh, a party girl, huh? 
Because I was laughing so hard as she related that story to me, I hardly heard anything past “touching Nooks together.”
Wait…I think I already downloaded that book.
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My husband asked me the other day for a Christmas list.  I hemmed.  I hawed.  I wrote a total of:  two things.  One, a good pair of silver hoops for everyday wear (read:  days when I’m too lazy to look at my earring “shirt” and find something color coordinated) and also a soft, comfy black cardigan.  Oh, I may have mentioned “a ring” too.  In that silly, girly, breathy I-want-sparkly-jewelry sort of way. 

Are there other things I want?  Sure there are.  However, I’m the one who does the most Christmas shopping (I’m a control freak) and when I see something around Christmas time that I want, weeeeeellllll, pretty much I get it. 

Case in point…ordering from Kohl’s online today.  Got everything I needed for other people but WHAT’S THAT???  Pajama pants with penguins on them?  Yes, please.  Click!

I’m a procrastinator.  I don’t do my Christmas shopping like a lot of people, which is to say that I do it much later.  As of right now, I’m only about 50% done and instead of being out shopping right now…I’m writing.  And thinking seriously about a glass of wine.  But really, my kids are old enough now that they would rather have gift cards.  And how long does it take to go get a gift card?  They don’t run out, they’re always the right size, and the kids really, truly appreciate them. 

I buy gift cards as opposed to the jeans or shirts I would get them once upon a time that would sit in their closets, tagged, until they were outgrown and given to Amvets, mostly because those ba$tards at Plato’s Closet buy everyone else’s stained, torn clothing but not my new stuff that has tags on it.  People at Plato’s Closet, pay attention.  Stop buying crap from your friends. 

I buy gift cards for the kids because I don’t have a personal shopper.  Because I am not very good at picking out things that my children would actually wear.  The only things I’m pretty safe buying for them are camisoles (for the girls, and maybe one for me) and funny t shirts (for the boy, and maybe one for me).  I don’t really have any sort of sense of style or color matching ability.  What this means is I wear black pants a LOT.
 
Popular gifts for the youngsters:  McDonalds gift cards.  Victoria’s Secret gift cards.  Walmart, or Target, or Plato’s Closet gift cards (for those children who like Abercrombie jeans without the Abercrombie price).  Gas station gift cards.  A gift card at virtually any store that would actually prevent me from picking out actual clothes, thinking, “Oh, (fill in name of unfortunate child) would just love this.  It would look so great on them.  So smart.  She/he could even start a fad.”*

*Note to my mother:  nothing that you said would start a fad actually STARTED a fad. 

And of course, in their Christmas stockings, it’s pretty standard:  candy, scratchoff cards, body wash, a Christmas Pez thingie.  An orange.  A candy cane.  Hope they’re not looking at this because then they’d know what’s in their stocking.  Again.  For the fifth year in a row.

(Actually, thinking about this, why the orange?  Why, because my mother used to put one in my stocking.  Sometimes we’d poke the candy cane IN THE ORANGE and suck out orange juice.  We were hardcore like that.  I also remember my sister and I getting Leggs.  Remember?  pantyhose in the egg container?  Good times.)

No matter what you gift your children with, or how soon or late you shop, it’s a wonderful time of year for sharing with friends and family.  That’s my focus.  In the hustle and bustle of baking, shopping, holiday parties, etc, it’s really easy to lose sight of that.

And that leads me to remember one more thing that is on my Christmas list, every single year…that my family stay happy and healthy.  It is really the most important thing in the world to me.  Every year I hug my family a little tighter.  And next year, there will be a little granddaughter to celebrate with!  I am literally quivering with joy.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, friends, do I have pictures for you.  Tonight, before Joe and I forced ourselves to go work out because it’s good for us, we stopped at One of a Kind, which is truly a one of a kind shop right next to Barnes and Noble at the Cherry Vale Mall. 

The Christmas Open House at One of a Kind is going to be from 7am to 9 pm on Friday November 23rd, Saturday 8am to 9pm, and Sunday, from 11am to 6pm.

For every $50 you spend, you’re entered into a drawing to win a basket positively stuffed with good schtuff, and if you spend $25, you get to spin for a gumball and if you get the purple one, guess what.  You’ve automatically won a $5 gift card to One of a Kind.

There are tons of things to see at this store.  I will share some pictures:

This is all kinds of aromatic bath salts and lotions.

You should probably have some coffee beans on hand to give your nose a good clearing out so that you can go on to the next thing to sniff.  Trust me, it’s hard to choose between scents.

candles, lovely, good smelling candles.



and you can never have enough jewelry.



Here are some pics of the cutie pie tie dye.  I’m such a poet.

she’s saying, take me home!  I belong on your windowsill where I will watch you wash dishes!

Here are some of Linda’s bottles!

Embellished Accents.  A great addition to your holiday table!
toward the back of the store, where there are bows, bottles, and handmade cards.



Here’s a shot from the back of the store toward the front, with Judy blissfully unaware that she’s having her picture taken.  You’re welcome.

So a big thank you to Judy for letting me come and disrupt her business to snap pics everywhere and ask question after question, all the while exclaiming over all the cuteness that is One of a Kind.
My mother and I will be there on Saturday to begin our Christmas shopping.  Come join us!  See you there!



Last year around this time, my 20 year old daughter got to see the ultimate example of the Christmas spirit in action.  Up until October of this year, she was a “comp peer” for a 13 year old girl I’ll call Becky through the Mildred Berry program in Rockford.  It works much like a Big Brothers/Sisters program.
To my daughter, it meant giving up half of her Saturday or Sunday every week or every other week to go do something with this little girl.  They went to a craft show, they went out to movies, visited the library, etc.  Sometimes they came back to the house, where Becky would play on the computer, or with our puppy, or watch DVD’s with my daughter.
For Becky’s birthday last December, my daughter took her to IHOP for breakfast.  As my daughter never has met a stranger, she was chatting with the older gentleman sitting close by, who had overheard my daughter and Becky talking.  She was explaining the program to him and the fact that it was Becky’s birthday.   Finished, he got up to leave, told them Merry Christmas and walked to the front of the restaurant to pay his check.
A few minutes later, my daughter asked the waitress to bring their check and was extremely surprised to hear that the mysterious gentleman who had been talking to them had very graciously picked up their check.  Their benefactor came back to their table to tell Becky to have a happy birthday.  
What happened next was truly a Christmas miracle, as he smiled and again opened his wallet to give Becky a crisp $100 bill to spend on her birthday or for Christmas.
It was more money than Becky had ever seen at one time.  She was in tears, my daughter was in tears, and even the waitress who had overheard the entire exchange was in tears.   A complete stranger had just paid for their breakfast and then gave this disadvantaged little girl $100.
Those two girls will never, ever forget what happened that cold December morning, and neither will I.  The Christmas spirit is alive and well, everyone.
ps…They finally did get his name before he left because they wanted to send a thank you note.  Being the internet sleuth that I am, (she said modestly) I did a Google search to find the address and found that there was no one by that name in Rockford or the surrounding areas. 
Somehow I was not surprised.
Dear Santa. 
I have penned several letters to you this year, all of them unanswered.  This time, I waited until my human went to bed to use the laptop.  Although you can’t read dog, I’m pretty sure you can read Times New Roman.   
Santa, I have been a very good boy this year.  I know this because my humans have told me so, over and over again, especially when I’m outside using the potty.   
Do you remember that present I asked for last year?  A new playmate?  And you bought the kitten we named Miss Whiskers?  The one that showed up with a red bow on her tiny little kitten head?   
It turns out that kittens are all cute and fluffy when you get them.  Harmless.  Tiny.  Adorable.  And then, before you know it, they turn on you. Santa, I don’t want bones or chew toys this year.  I don’t want a stuffing free animal.  (You and I both know I can tear that thing apart)  
What I would really like this year is this:  when you come to drop off the presents under the tree for my people, take that cat back with you.  Please.  That cat is a total beach.  I know this because I heard my human say, “That cat is a beach.  She never comes when I call.”  
And she is so mean!  She hisses at me constantly, tricking my owners into thinking I’m the one being naughty.  If I try to make friends and wag my tail at her, she tries to bite it.  Once I bowed to her (yes, I’ll admit I was being sarcastic) and barked, and she whapped me across the nose. What other choice did I have but to chase her throughout the house?  It got me nowhere but chained up outside for an hour.  Don’t get me wrong.  I like outside, Santa, but the cat laid on the windowsill the entire time mocking me.  It stung.  I was humiliated.   
She frames me for household crimes, too.  She unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper and left some by me while I napped.  I got blamed.  She got up on the counter and knocked down the box of dog treats on accident.  I know that mice can be a problem in the neighborhood so, Santa, I was merely keeping our home rodent free when I ate them all up.  Did they thank me?  No.  I got a newspaper swat on the rear. 
The worst thing, though, is that Miss Whiskers hides.  She hides.  And when I least expect it, she springs up from her hiding spot behind a door or whatnot and scares me half to death.  Twice now, the fright has been enough to make me piddle a little bit on the floor.  I bet you can guess who they blamed for that one too. 
As you can see, she has to go. 
Sincerely,  
Cooper (the Dog) 
PS  Sorry about the Christmas tree.  The beach knocked it over.

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  • Mary Fran Says: Thank you for contributing to Sweeps Week! We make a great team. Maybe we'll collaborate in our next lives? SISTERS! lol :)
  • Mary Fran Says: What's better than a Baby Shower aka Early Baby Birthday Party? Baby's FIRST Birthday Party! (Although it's hard to call them "baby" by one! They grow
  • Ann Jones: I'll have to check it out, thanks for the heads up!

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