The Life and Times of Poopwa Foley

Archive for the ‘things that make me mad’ Category



Get it?  Get it?  Red box???



Ok, first, it would behoove you to go online at home and reserve the movies you want first, before ever going to the Redbox kiosk.  One and done.  The only thing you have to do when you actually get to the Redbox dispenser is swipe and wait.  Swipe and wait, people, swipe and wait.  Much easier.
If you are still in the dark ages and don’t own a computer, or you just happen to be out and about and decide to pick up a movie on the way home, let’s be a little more considerate.  See below.
a)      Are your hands clean?  The Redboxes are a public use item, which means who knows what cultures might be growing on the kiosk screen.  I don’t want to use the screen after you’ve been eating Cheetos, or some big greasy hamburger, or mining for green gold, or trying to pick the apple you had for lunch out of your teeth. 
b)      The places of business putting out these kiosks also should make antibacterial wipes available just like they do next to the grocery carts.  Why?  See above.
c)      Place your phone calls before you lean on the box, head under the screen, and start cruising for a movie.  Do not call home three different times trying to get a popular consensus on what you should get, you flipping moron.  More importantly, do not call someone and leave a message, then linger in front of the screen waiting for a callback.  You’re a big boy and it’s only a dollar.  Live dangerously.
d)     Please, for the love of all that’s holy, read the trailer information for movies some other time, like at home while you’re choosing your movies beforehand.  I was once behind a man who read the synopsis of at least 16 different movies to his phone friend.  I was just trying to return one movie before the 9 o’clock deadline.  He ended up not renting anything.  And I had to pay extra because of his obnoxiousness.  My printout receipt showed 9:01 pm.      
e)      Speaking of deadlines, try to avoid the 8:55 pm rush.  It’s not pretty.  Whoever lost the fight has to return the movie, and obviously the clothing choices reflect that.  People, please remember that you will be seen returning the movie, oh Unshowered One.  Wearing orange piggy flannel pajama bottoms and a red Wisconsin sweatshirt while rocking striped spa socks…I am judging you, and I am not alone.  That schnit doesn’t fly.  You’re making Walmartians look like fashion icons. 
f)       If for some unusual reason I have to stand at the kiosk and choose instead of having reserved my movies at home like I normally would, don’t you dare stand too closely behind me.  It does not make me go faster.  It skeeves me out and gives me butterfingers, causing my fingers to slip because it makes me nervous…
g)      …and threatened.  If I feel threatened, it could also force me to break out my professional ninja moves and karate chop your solar plexus.  It’s very possible that I could miss and deliver a massive blow to your junk, making you miss YOUR 9:00 pm deadline.  Oops.  Just stay the hell back.  You’ll get your turn.
Easy enough, right?  You would think.  So many people, however, observe no Redbox etiquette whatsoever.   I’m merely here to gently guide them.
Enjoy your movie.

*thanks, Jenny-Wren, for your input…

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I have many, many lists.  Some I keep to help me focus on things that need to get done in my personal life, or around the house, or TO the house.  Things that I would like to accomplish, or have accomplished.  (secret:  Sometimes I write something on a list that wasn’t there before, only so I could cross it off.  so what.)

However, looking down from my lofty perch at 45 years old, (yeah, 45.  Hey, middle age, how ya doing?) I feel that there are some things that I am now qualified to have an educated opinion on.  At least, a crabby old lady opinion on.

The following are things that REALLY DRIVE ME FRIGGIN CRAZY.

  • Hi, Mr. Telemarketer?  You who calls me almost every day at work, pretending to be friends with the president of the company?  Or want to talk to him because you’re “working on his driveway and have a quick question.” Or keep refusing to give me a company name.  Or who CHANGE their name every single time they call?  You?  You drive me crazy.  And I’ll never, ever, ever let you through to him.  I know your voice now, David/Cory.  Suck it.
  • You, in the car ahead of me?  The one who, despite the fact that the light turned green 10 seconds ago, are looking down, and so busy TEXTING that you don’t notice the light change?  Yeah, you.  Put the friggin phone down.  Put it down.  I am older, and have more insurance, and I WILL NOT HESITATE TO HIT YOU with my car. 
  • Those of you who try to sneak through the yellow/red light.  You’re not sneaking.  You’re just breaking the law.  And pissing me off.
  • Stores who don’t play fair at the coupon game.  Come on, let me use two coupons for the same thing.  It’s not like it is coming out of your own pocket.
  • (but as a side note, thank you to most of the boy check out clerks, who would find it embarrassing to turn down a coupon and therefore let me slide, pretending to be grateful for my old lady wink of thanks.  Thank you anyway.)
  • The concession stand at the movies.  How dare you.  Really?  $8 for a bag of popcorn?  When I can pop up the same amount at home for about a quarter?  And damn you for being so good that I’ll pay the stupid $8 and then just bitch about it. 
  • The movie companies who are charging $7.25 to let me in to see a movie.  No wonder so many people try to sneak in.  I, however, am not one of them, nor will I ever be, because I would be the one who gets caught.  Or if not caught, unable to enjoy the movie for the guilt.
  • When some punk got into my Twitter account and sent dirty pictures to people on my twitter list.  It’s called the Discovery Channel.  Look it up if you’re that bored.  Or at least, do some homework.  If you are smart enough to hack into my computer, apply some of those brains to real life.
  • People who buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune.  I mean, really.  You have the entire puzzle spelled out and you insist on buying a vowel.  Why?  To show the rest of the world what the puzzle is before you solve it?  Serves you right if you land on Bankrupt.  I will WATCH AND LAUGH.
  • Scary movies.  Why do you make me watch you? 
  • The resulting fear of going into my own basement, certain that someone is watching me do laundry/fold/iron from the shadows of the basement.  The fact that I will SPRINT to the stairs, to avoid being caught by whatever it is that is surely only inches from my back.
  • The grasshopper that was about 12 inches from my foot this morning.  You’re lucky that I put you outside.  It’s only because it was my birthday and I didn’t want to ruin it by killing something.

From time to time, I will be adding to this list.  At my advanced age, lots and lots of things make me angry…or if not angry, just put out with the human race in general.

Get a life.  Or make a list of your own.


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  • None
  • Mary Fran Says: Thank you for contributing to Sweeps Week! We make a great team. Maybe we'll collaborate in our next lives? SISTERS! lol :)
  • Mary Fran Says: What's better than a Baby Shower aka Early Baby Birthday Party? Baby's FIRST Birthday Party! (Although it's hard to call them "baby" by one! They grow
  • Ann Jones: I'll have to check it out, thanks for the heads up!

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